These Dads Share How they Failed to Protect the Family Jewels

Being a dad calls for many things. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

A MacGyver-esque master fixer of everything, the ultimate packer on road trips, exceptional teller of bad dad jokes, and forever vigilant of protecting the family jewels.

For some reason, kids have an unbelievable sense of hitting you where it hurts the most.

It doesn’t matter if they’re playing with a stuffed animal or a plastic golf club, you can never let your guard down. The moment you do is when the worst can happen. It’s almost like they’re just waiting for you to slip up.

JonStewart

These reddit dads found out the hard way a cup may not just be the perfect baby shower gift but a mandatory one.

illuminatisucks

my little lady’s legs are at the perfect length to be dangerous while sitting in a shopping cart. i now have to walk through the grocery store like i’m a member of the Ministry of Silly Walks.

IHaveaBigPumpkin

I took one in the nuts from a whiffle bat once. The worst part was I had spent at least half an hour avoiding it but then let my guard down and immediately the kid swung for the fences.

Jumping

 

not-quite-obscure

I’ve been sacked more in the 12 years that I’ve been a Dad than all the previous years of my life combined and multiplied by some large number. Don’t know where I was going with that. Sometime I feel like I should wear a cup at all times.

ThetaGamma2

I came to post the same thing – 34 years, balled maybe three times? 3 1/2 years, balled maybe once a week? Kids be dangerous.

Fish

moonyeti

The worst is when it happens when we are doing rough housing that I instigated. I take an accidental shot to the sack, but try to downplay it because I started it and don’t want the kiddo to feel too guilty. “No, i’m fine, dad just needs to lie down for a bit.”

 

mpmontero

We took our 3 year old boy ice skating for the first time…he didn’t want to leave, so when I picked him up…I got a nice firm kick in the nuts with a heavy ice skate…. My singing voice has improved though!

Crab

OccamsRazer

My kids never know when the games are over, so I have to be constantly vigilant.

Eran-of-Arcadia

I’m pretty sure that my daughter wants to be an only child. If not she sure acts like it.

Stay aware dads. We’re all in this together.

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